Xxchange 7 - A Bit Of You by Bailey Bradford

Author:Bailey Bradford [Bradford, Bailey]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Gay MM/ Contemporary
Publisher: Total-E-Bound Publishing
Published: 2011-12-24T14:00:45+00:00

* * * *

There had been a lot of scary times in Billy’s life, but right now, staring at the entrance to the college’s main building? Most terrifying, ever. He couldn’t get his feet to move another step closer. Just the idea of walking in and asking about registering and placement tests and transcripts… Holy crap, it seemed like the most impossible task he’d ever faced.

“Come on, you can do this,” Xavier urged. Billy resisted the urge to pout and just glared at him. Xavier only smiled encouragingly as he cupped Billy’s elbow. “Let’s just go see what needs to be done. This is what you said you wanted to do.”

“Maybe I was wrong,” Billy muttered, “I don’t think I can do this.” Not only the whole college thing, but moving away from everyone and everything he knew. “I should think about it more. I should—”

Xavier stepped in front of him and tipped Billy’s head up with two long fingers. “You should quit doubting yourself. This is my fault; I should have encouraged you to go to college after you got your GED. I just… I didn’t want you to leave,” Xavier nibbled his bottom lip, then added, “but you should. You have to have your own life. I can’t keep watching out for you, keeping you close at the club. It isn’t good for you, and that’s what’s important. You deserve more.” Xavier dropped his hand and looked at the asphalt between them. “This whole letting your kid go thing sucks. I probably botched everything, but I swear I only did what I thought was right.”

Billy was glowing from the words. It was the first time Xavier had pretty much claimed Billy as family quite so thoroughly, and, even though they weren’t related by blood, he knew he couldn’t have had a better father. His own had been a total ass.

And maybe Xavier was right; he and Billy had clung to each other for lots of reasons, some good and some which hadn’t always benefitted them. It was easier to stay with the familiar, and to devote time and attention to someone who wasn’t ever going to be, well, a lover, a partner. They’d used each other to keep potential partners at a distance, hadn’t they?

Billy didn’t know where all these revelations were coming from, but for too long he’d been content to float along through life, safe in the cocoon Xavier had wrapped him in, or mostly safe except for Randy, but how could they have known Xav’s brother would go all psycho on them?

Sure, he’d messed around with a lot of guys for dubious reasons, but he was changing now, or he intended to. Troy was right, Xav was right. Billy deserved more, and shouldn’t keep thinking of himself as a worthless man who had to settle for scraps of affection, or who had to put out because it was easier than not putting out, even if he hadn’t been going all the way with the one-offs he used to hook up with.

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